Fearless, Reckless, Clueless
by Sixteens
Summary: Haruno Sakura's dad is a criminal, apparently, and she is the only hope the police has of catching him. Sakura, herself is not all that squeaky clean, and all Officer Uchiha Sasuke wants to do is forget he ever met her. Throw a mad, "fake-breasted" Tsunade, a hyperactive Naruto and emotionally stunted Sai into the mix and we have a great party.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's note: _**_I have no idea how this happened. _

_I don't own Naruto, obviously. _

* * *

"Has she said anything?" Sasuke asked quietly as he walked into the room, looking through the screen at the girl in the next room.

"No." Tsunade snapped. She drank from her dark cup and glared darkly at girl, then she shifted her glare on Sasuke. "Make her speak, otherwise I'm taking this in my hands and it's not going to end pretty for anyone."

Sasuke nodded curtly and walked out. He walked into the room and the girl slowly turned her bright green eyes on him. The corners of her mouth titled up in a smirk and she put her elbows on the table. "Lookie here. We've got a handsome one." She waggled her eyebrows. "How old are you actually? You look pretty young."

"That doesn't matter." Sasuke said curtly and dropped a manila folder on the table. He opened it and took out a picture, which he threw on the table in front of her. "Do you know this man?"

"Well, aren't you a polite little boy." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She sighed and glanced down at the picture. She snorted and pushed it away. "Oh, wow. Well, good thing you're pretty cause you don't seem all that brainy. This is my father, of course I know him. _Obviously_." She shook her head and sighed. "Rookies." She muttered.

Sasuke twitched and looked at the mirror, knowing that behind it, everyone was laughing at him, including the Captain. "I have some questions to ask you about him." Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

"Too bad for you, then. I haven't seen him in four years. We don't speak to each other anymore." She shrugged and threw her legs on the table. "I can't really help you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Let me remind you that you were arrested for possessions of illegal substance. It would really do you good to be cooperative."

Sakura raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Aw, are you the bad cop?" She whispered, giggling softly. Sasuke's eye twitched again and Sakura's smirk widened. She started to inspect her nails and continued to speak. "You get pissed off very easily. You should really work on that, or you'll make a crappy cop. Do you think peach orange compliments my skin? I have a feeling it gives it a.. yellow tint." She frowned and showed her hands to Sasuke, who closed his eyes briefly.

He could hear them all laughing in his head. They wouldn't let him live it down for months, years even. He probably already had a nickname. God, the girl was infuriating. Sasuke pushed the folder to Sakura. "Read this." He ordered and left the room.

"Uchiha, do you think my top makes my eyes pop?" The Captain was the first to tease him, of course. Tsunade was smirking broadly and sipping from her cup, resting comfortably on a large black leather chair.

"Aw, Sasuke, I've always said you're the pretty one in the family. No wonder Aunty Mikoto used to dress you in pink." Shisui was the next, of course. Thank goodness his brother wasn't there. Or Naruto. Although, he had no doubt that this would get to them sooner or later and judging by the way Shishui was snickering - it would be sooner rather than later. Fuck his life.

"She is completely uncooperative." Sasuke said through gritted teeth, running a hand through his spiky hair. He glared at the girl, who was reading throught the folder with curious expression on her face.

"Sasuke, don't give up. I taught you better." Well, he couldn't expect Kakashi not to join in. He wouldn't miss on embarrassing any of his students for anything.

"I'm going back in." Sasuke said with a scowl.

"Hey, Sasuke, try to smile; that might win her over." Sasuke slammed the door shut, blocking their obnoxious laughter. He knew working in a department with practically half his family and Tsunade as a Captain wouldn't do him any good, but he had gone and done it anyway.

Sakura had finished reading when he returned and he looked at her silently, waiting for her to speak. She looked back at him and the two stayed silent, each too stubborn to speak. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sasuke thought that he should be acting like the bigger, better person because he's the cop here but the girl's smug green eyes pushed all those thoughts at the back of his mind.

Finally, Sakura broke their intense stare off and rolled her eyes. "Well, he's a bad, bad criminal, okay. Whatever. I used to think he was cheating on my mother, though and it's good to know that he hadn't been unfaithful - just smugging drugs across the border. That's something."

Sasuke stared at her, trying to figure out if she was serious or not. Surely she couldn't be that calm about this? If they managed to find proof, her father would be locked up in prison for life.

Sakura laced her fingers together and leaned back against her chair comfortably. "So, let's talk about what you really want from me. I'm a straight forward kind of girl."

"Fine." Sasuke sat down and crossed his ankles, looking at her through narrowed eyes. "We'll need your help to find proof for your father's crimes. If you help us, we are willing to overlook your little mishap."

"So basically you want me to return to my father with my tail between my legs, and play the happy daddy's girl?" Sakura's own eyes were narrowed dangerously and her voice was low as she spoke. Sasuke raised an eyebrow curiously and nodded.

"This is exactly what we want. You'll be our key from the inside. You don't really have a choice here. You either help us or you go in prison for about a year." Sasuke sat and resisted the urge to smirk. He knew she'd agree. Anyone would agree.

"But I _do _have a choice. I can either help you or go to jail, you said it." Sakura smirked and sighed softly. "And, honestly, you people have started to grow on me. Besides, I'm starting to realize just how wrong I've acted. I'm feeling remorseful and all that. Maybe I'll just lay my one year and then I'll be on my merry way. How does that sound?"

Sasuke kept his balled fists under the table and tried not show just how much irritation he was feeling. She was laughing at him. _Laughing _at _him_. Sasuke didn't react well to people who laugh at him. Not well at all but he knew his father wouldn't be impressed if he blew up on her, so he stayed calm and tried to think rationally. _Okay, Sasuke, you know she's just messing with you. Trying to make you angry for her own sick entertainment. Why are you getting so worked up anyway? She's just a stupid little girl. Right. A stupid little girl who is the key to the success to your first huge case. Yeah, she's not that important._

Sakura snorted and brought Sasuke back to the land of the living. "Honestly, I think the vein on your forehead is about to burst, other than that, that is a good poker face. Now, back to business." She leaned on her elbows, that little smirk playing on her lips. "My father wouldn't take me back, I think. The last time I saw him I told him I rather live on the streets and be homeless and poor, then to be called his daughter." She smiled fondly. "I was a bit of a rebel in my teens. Well, he, um, took it quite literary and kicked me out. So, we aren't really on the best of terms, so to speak. My father isn't a forgiving person, and neither am I don't think this whole thing would work. You can try with my cousin, my father loved him like a son.. but I'm not sure if he's still alive. Last time I saw him he was so high he couldn't tell his ass from his elbows so I wouldn't get my hopes up too high. You know how drugs are, kind of suck you in pretty quick."

The door suddenly opened and Tsunade walked in, holding a plastic bag.

Sakura's eyebrows rose and her eyes immediately fell onto her breasts. She whistled. "Wow, hun, that's a lot of siliconе. Are you sure you've got the right profession?" Sakura smiled innocently and ignored the murderous look on Tsunade's face.

"Call your father." Tsunade snapped. "And don't test me girl. I can fuck you up ways you haven't even dreamed about."

"And the award for the worst threat goes to Police Officer Knockers over there." Sakura said in a deep, commentator's voice. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag that contained her possessions. "And just for the record, I have some very messed up dreams. If you manage to top that, I think we should get you a straight-jacket and throw you into a padded white room. Just sayin'!" She snickered and took out her phone. "Well, let's see if daddy dearest even remembers he has a daughter."

Sakura dialed him and pressed the phone to her ear. She stared straight ahead, at a spot between Sasuke and Tsunade and waited. Her father answered after the third signal. "Haruno Atsushi speaking." Sakura's heart started to race at the sound of the familiar deep voice.

"Hey, dad." She said casually, and she heard him suck in a breath. Had he really deleted her number? "How's it going?

"Sakura." His voice was definitely amused now, if a bit bitter. "The last time we saw each other, I recall you telling me you didn't want to be called my daughter."

"Yeah, well, you know me and my big mouth. So, dad, I've realized my mistake and everything. I regret it and all that-"Sasuke and Tsunade exchanged looks. _That _was her apology? "So, I was wondering if my room is still spare."

Silence. Sakura started to drum her fingers against the table and glanced at Tsunade and Sasuke, who were both waiting patiently. "Is this your idea of a joke?" Her father didn't sound angry, although he certainly sounded dubious and suspicious.

"Dad, I'm living day by day and wearing Wal-mart clothes" A lie. She actually had a job and was going pretty good for herself. She lived with a couple of friends and they were all content with what they had. "-I'm hardly in the mood or position to be making jokes."

"Fine. I guess your mother would be happy to have you back." He said eventually. "But don't think this is over. We'll have a long talk when you get home. I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour from you."

"Wow, thanks dad, you're so generous." She couldn't help it. It slipped through her mouth. Sometimes her mouth ran before her brain. That was why she usually got herself in those type of situations.

"Home, Sakura." He father growled and hung up.

Sakura lowered her phone and grinned at the two police officers. "Well, guess who's going home?"

...

"We'll be sending an officer undercover tomorrow. You'll recognize him the minute you see him. You'll listen to whatever he tells you and you are not going to be difficult. I want to have an access to you at all times, so keep your phone turned on all the time. If we want you here, you're going to come here. From now on, you are my slave and you are going to do what I want you to do without any complains. Am I being clear here?" Tsunade stared Sakura straight in the eyes. She had her don't-fuck-with-me-I'm-the-Captain-here face on and she just dared Sakura to say something.

Sakura, of course, didn't fail to deliver. "Sorry, hun, I don't play by the rules. Best not to set me any boundaries or you might as well write this down as a failed mission." She shrugged carelessly at the looks she was getting. "Hey, I don't work well under pressure. Do you want this to work or what?"

"Sasuke-" Tsunade hissed out the name. "will be the one you seek when you have something, or he'll be the one to seek you when he needs you to do something. As long as you do your job well and don't mess this up, you can do whatever you want. Is this alright with you or you have something else to add?"

"I always have something to add." Sakura said with a cocky grin. "But I'm starting to get concerned about your blood pressure, a woman of your age shouldn't be too hard on herself-" Tsunade twitched violently. "so I'm going to refrain from saying anything. Although I'm still curious about your doctor's number." She nodded to Tsunade's breasts. "I'm thinking of having my boobs enlarged. Are you going to tell me?"

"Out!" Tsunade roared. "Get her out before I kill her!'"

Sakura put on an offended and hurt expression. "Selfish bitch." She muttered as she stood up. "See ya, blondie!" She yelled over her shoulder as she and Sasuke left her office. "She really needs to calm down. All this yelling can't be good for her health."

Sasuke ignored her and continued to march, staring straight ahead. Sakura chuckled. "Ignoring me won't work. I don't have a stop button, darling. I can go on and on and on and on and on. You get the picture. Coupled with the fact that I have no filter and absolutely lack any sort of tact, and you've got me, one of the most annoying people you'll ever meet. The worst part, I know just how annoying I can be and I use it to my advantage."

"Perfect." Sasuke muttered with heavy sarcasm in his voice.

"And he speaks!" Sakura yelled, starling a few people. Sasuke grabbed her arm and shoved her in the elevator. Sakura yelped and glared at him.

"Oi, just because you're all high and mighty police officer doesn't mean I can't sue you for physical abuse." She rubbed her arm, which honestly didn't hurt at all, and huffed. "And people say the cops are the good guys."

"You're absolutely unbearable." He told her honestly. He pushed the button to the ground floor and leaned against the metal wall.

"Thank you." Sakura said cheerfully. "Hey, do you know if Tsunade's boobs are real or not?" Sasuke stared at her emptily. "Oh, come on, give me a hint. Seriously, if they are real she has to be both the luckiest and the most unfortunate woman in the world. I mean, they are humongous and they draw attention, but imagine the _pain. _She probably has to get back massages every other day. Imagine them after twenty years-" She made a face but her eyes were twinkling with amusement. "All sagging and squishy and disgusting. They'll probably reach her knees." Sakura cackled while Sasuke tried to erase all the unwanted images from his mind. "But if they're implants, I've got only one thing to say-" _Would be a first_, Sasuke thought sarcastically "know your limits woman! Honestly, wasn't there a woman who died because she got too much silicone? Talk about ridiculously embarrassing and stupid death. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to live with the shame even in the afterlife and I'll try to off myself again. Or life as a recluse, if it doesn't work. I mean, how vain can you get? She probably wasn't all that attractive in the end anyway. Big boobs are attractive only if they're accompanied with a body, but if there's only boobs.." She trailed off and Sasuke relished in the silence. "And imagine the headlines! Police Officer Tsuande what-ever-her-last-name-is, dead because of breats enlargements. Imagine the shame. Imagine the scandal! Ooh, I thrive on this stuff."

Bing.

_WE ARRIVED!_ Sasuke's mind shouted. He hurried out of the elevator and Sakura followed him, still babbling away, barely pausing to breathe. Sasuke quickly found Sakura's car and he resisted the urge to smile in relief. She was going away. He didn't remember ever being so annoyed by someone. Even Naruto had a pause. This girl, however.. The stuff of the nightmares, right there. At least the stuff of Sasuke's nightmares.

"Oh, my car! You guys got it for me!" Sakura exclaimed, smiling brilliantly. She walked over the driver's side of the car and searched for her keys in her bag. "That was very nice of you. Er, where are my keys? Honestly my purse is such a mess. My mother always told me-"

_Here we go again, _Sasuke's mind whispered. Sasuke tuned her out and didn't move until he heard a triumphant yell.

"Sasuke, look out-" But Sasuke didn't react as quickly as he should have and Sakura's keys nailed his right eye. He hissed in pain and pressed a hand to his eyes and the keys fell down on the ground, the clicking sound echoing around them. Sasuke glared at Sakura with his good eye, pure hatred written in his dark eyes. Sakura smiled sheepishly and ran over to him, bending down to grab her keys.

"Sorry, lost grip of them. Let me see." She reached for his face but he recoiled. She rolled her eyes. "Let me see you stubborn idiot. I've done some medical courses and I can access the damage."

Sasuke stared at her dubiously but she stood utterly confident in front of him, waiting patiently. Or not so patiently. She reached for his face suddenly and moved his hand. He winced.

"What the hell, you crazy woman?" He hollered. Sakura smirked in a self-satisfied way as she examined his eye.

"You're going to be alright, you big baby. It's only a bit of swelling. You'll be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Now, I really have to go. Thanks for being so.. hospitable, Officer I'm-all-dark-and-brooding-and-shit. I'll make sure to ring you up. I don't want you to forget about me."

"As if I could." Sasuke muttered as he pressed his hand to his eyes again. He hissed in pain.

Sakura grinned at his comment. "See ya! Oh, and research the thing with Captain Tsunade's breasts, yeah? I'm just dying to know if they're real or not. Show me you are a real police officer, Pretty!" She unlocked her car and jumped inside.

Sasuke stared after the speeding car and shook his head. He winced slightly and headed back for the elevator.

Couple of weeks, did she say? Oh God, he definitely wouldn't live that down.

Damn that woman.


	2. Chapter 2

_Aw, look Daddy is still going with the scary vibe_, Sakura thought with absolutely no love and a lot of sarcasm. The house, or mansion really, was large and in a Greek style with the big pillars and a lot of large windows. It was three stories high and very wide and it towered menacingly over a big expanse of green grounds. It was surrounded by a tall, black gate and equipped with the highest security systems. Sakura used to think her father was paranoid. Now she knew for sure that he was paranoid, but at least he had a legit reason. Although if he hadn't gotten involved in all that shit he wouldn't have to guard himself like that. But to each his own.

Sakura stopped her car in front of the gates and waited. A tall burly guy got out of the cabin and peaked at her car. She rolled down her window and smiled in a sickening fake way. Good thing she had the pink hair and the green eyes, she was easily recognizable. The burly guy nodded at her than returned to his cabin. She saw him picking up a phone and sighed, settling more comfortably. Finally, he hung up and opened the gates for her.

"Yeah, thanks for the great service!" She shouted at him. She drove around the house to the garage and there she saw her mother, practically bouncing on her feet with excitement. Sakura sighed and got her car in the garage, looking curiously at the big, white, shiny Range Rover next to her. It was really nice. Her door suddenly opened and a pair of arms got her out of the car. Her mother squashed her into a hug and started to squeal something about how much she had missed her and the general things mothers squeal and babble about.

Sakura loved her mother, she really did, but they had never seen eye to eye. Sakura was independent, free-spirited, smart. Sakura's mother was.. a very kind-hearted woman but also very.. clueless, so to speak. She was very sweet, and perceptive at random times, but as far as she went, her life as a jobless housewife; or more like a trophy wife, it was not like she did anything in the house, except sleep and eat; was enough for her. She was content with her distant husband and her expensive clothes, shiny cars and long trips to exotic places.

"Oh, Sakura, you've grown so much!" Her mother finally pulled away and held her at arms-length, examining her from head to toe. She squealed and clapped her hands together. "You're a woman now! We'll have so much fun shopping together!"

While they were very different on the inside, they were very similar on the outside. Haruno Midori had the same pink hair, green eyes, small frame and up-turned nose. The only thing Sakura had taken from her father was her wider forehead, paler skin and fuller mouth. Everything else she got from her mother. Well, except the personality. Obviously.

"Your father is waiting for you up in his office!" Her mother said as she took her hand and started dragging her toward the house. "He's so happy, I can tell. He hasn't been the same since you left, you know. He really missed you. But everything is going to be alright now." Midori grinned widely, happily, cluelessly. "Now that you're home, we can be a family again."

Sakura smiled somewhat bitterly. Her mother might think that, but she didn't know the only reason Sakura was back home was because she wanted to throw her father in jail. Midori's heart would break if she knew Sakura's ulterior motive.

"I haven't touched your bedroom. I had Amaya clean it frequently, of course, but everything should be exactly as you left it." They got in the house, and Hotaru, the butler greeted them.

"Sakura-sama!" He exclaimed, looking elated. "What a pleasure to see you again. How have you been? You're looking a bit skinny." His critical grey eyes looked her up and down and he shook his head. "I'll go and tell Hanako to cook up a big dinner! She'll be ecstatic to know you're back!" He hurried off before Sakura could say a word. She blinked.

"Wow, I've forgotten what it's like here." She said after a moment.

"Well, you're going to get acquainted with everything again. Tomorrow we're going shopping.. your father mentioned something about Wal-mart.." She shuddered delicately and looked Sakura up and down. Sakura only sighed and decided not to press the matter. She'd been gone for four years, the least she could give her mother was a shopping trip.

They finally reached Atsushi's office. Midori kissed Sakura on the cheek and told her she'd go and see how the preparations for the dinner were coming along. She took a deep breath and smoothed down her shirt. _You can do this, Sakura. It's only your dad. The fact that he's a criminal doesn't make him all that much scarier. It's not like he's going to eat you or something. _She nodded to herself, gathered all her courage and confidence and sauntered in the office as if she owned the place.

Her father looked up from his laptop and smiled thinly.

"Sakura." He said in a formal voice. "Please sit." He gestured to the two leather armchairs in front of the desk, and his expensive watch glistened when it caught the light. Sakura held back the comment that was at the tip of her tongue and walked over to the desk, taking a sit on one of the armchairs. Atsushi closed his laptop and took off his glasses. "I must admit, I am curious about why you want to come back."

"I told you why. I just couldn't live like that. I-" She swallowed her pride with difficulty and continued. "couldn't take care of myself. I needed this." She gestured around, and smiled.

Atsushi was silent for a moment, his face betraying nothing. Than he sighed and leaned back on his boss armchair. "Honestly, Sakura, you and I both know you can take of yourself just fine. Maybe you miss this, the money and the luxury way of living but not nearly enough to swallow up your pride and call me."

Sakura blinked. Wow, her father knew her much more than she thought he did. He chuckled at her surprised expression.

"Sakura, you're my daughter. And in some aspects, you're exactly like me. You've inherited my pride, stubbornness and my unwillingness to succumb to anything I don't agree with. I know for a fact that you have a disagreement with me. I think you made that pretty clear."

"Yeah, well, at the time I thought you were cheating on Mom, so you know, I acted a bit rash." Sakura shrugged. That hadn't been the only reason but it certainly had played a key factor. It had been the tip of the iceberg.

Atsushi looked shocked. "Why would you think that?"

Sakura raised her eyebrows and gave him a 'really?' look. "Well, you were always away, you came home late at night, you fought a lot with Mom, you were always with that woman, Mei, was it? What was I supposed to think?" _Well, now I know you were just making dirty money and supplying several countries with drugs. Never thought you had it on you, though._

_"_Mei?"Atsushi barked a laugh. "If I'm going to cheat on your mother, I'll at least make sure to be with someone classier."

Sakura snorted. "Nice."

Atsushi smiled briefly but then his smile dropped to be replaced by a much serious expression. "Look, Sakura, you are my daughter and I love you, but there are some things we need to put a stop to. Like your attitude, it is not fit for a woman of your standing. We are respected in this society and I don't want my daughter acting as if she's been raised by commoners. We will, of course, set some rules. Just for a while." He added when he saw her horrified expression. "Just to make sure you are serious about this. Your curfew is 1 a.m-"

"What?" Sakura gasped. "But I'm twenty-two, I can't have curfew."

Atsushi gave her a cross look. "Now you have. You brought this on yourself, but if I see improvement, I'll be willing to remove that particular rule. If only I see any improvement. You are also going to be present on every single gala, ball, soiree, ect. I'll make a socialite out of you yet."

"But they are torture! They are so stupid, boring and superficial!" Sakura refused to believe her father could be that cruel. He knew how deep her hatred for any social events ran. He never forced her to attend one before.

"I know and this is why I am forcing you to go. It's part of your punishment and you might actually pick up something from the girls there."

"Don't count on it." She muttered, glaring at the silver MacBook.

"I'm not but hope dies last, right?" Atsushi sighed and run a hand through his reddish-brown hair. "Sakura, I'm making an effort here. This has to be done. You'll understand."

"Don't count on that either." She said again.

Atsushi gave her a reproachful look. Just then his phone rang and he picked it up. He looked at Sakura. "You can go now. I'll see you at dinner."

"Yea, sure." Sakura stood up and stormed out of the office. Curfew? Socialite? Was he crazy? Has all that power and money gone to his head? Was he taking any? If it wasn't for the very real threat of her going into prison for a year, she would've left ten times by now. In fact, she wouldn't have called at all. Ugh! She stormed into her old bedroom and flopped down on her bed. After a minute of angry silence, she whipped out her phone and wrote an angry text to Tsunade.

_I have curfew. A CURFEW! I hope your implants explode and you die a horrible, ridiculously embarrassing death for what you've forced me to do._

She pressed send, not caring if she was being disrespectful (like she was ever respectful) and rude, and possibly crossing the line. She laid her head back on the pillow and only lifted it when her phone buzzed quietly.

_This makes me happy. Don't forget; no boys in your room and no parties! Now, get in bed, you wouldn't want Mommy and Daddy to get angry, would you?_

Sakura's reply?

_**Die, bitch, Die**_

Sakura groaned in despair and scrolled through her contacts until she found the name she was searching for. They were going to be pissed at her and she couldn't even tell them why she had moved back with her parents and why she was quitting her job.

God, she hated everything.

...

"Wake up, Sakura! It's an important day, today!"

Sakura groaned loudly and buried her face in her pillow, gripping her covers tightly. The annoyingly chirpy voice didn't stop, however.

"Aw, don't be like that! Don't you want to spend a whole day with your mother?"

Sakura's eyes slowly fluttered open and a blurry vision of something pink swam in her view. Her vision soon cleared and she was greeted by her mother's smiling face. "Ugh." She closed her eyes again and dragged her duvet over her head.

"Sakura, you're being a baby! We're going shopping today! Aren't you excited?"

"What time is it?" Sakura asked, her voice both hoarse and muffled from the duvet. Midori glanced at the digital cloak on the bedside table.

"11 a.m."

"What?" Sakura growled a little sleepily. "It's too early to be up and active, let alone this happy. Return in a few hours." Sakura knew it wouldn't work, but she had to try.

Her mother grabbed her duvet and wrenched it off her. "Sakura, we are going shopping whether you like it or not. Now, get up and take a shower. I'll be waiting for you in the dinning room." Midori sounded quite serious, so Sakura decided not take chances and rolled out of her bed.

She stretched her limbs and yawned loudly. She blinked a few times to get rid of the tears and headed for her bathroom. Sakura old room was pink and undoubtedly girly and teenager-ish. She'd have to do something about it. She took a quick shower, brushed her teeth, washed her face and returned in her bedroom. Since she didn't have any of her clothes (she really needed to go over to her apartment. Gaara and Temari might be pissed at her but they wouldn't refuse to give her clothes. At least she hoped so..), she had to pick something from her old closet. After ten minutes she managed to find something that didn't look like it had costed more than someone's salary for a month, and she dressed. She blow dried her hair and put the mass of crazy waves in a tight bun. Once she was ready with that, she put her usual make-up (mascara, eyeliner and lip balm) and left.

She found only Midori in the dinning room. She was eating her breakfast quietly, reading _People _and looking quite interested in it. Sakura decided not to disturb her and took a sit at the other side of the table. Midori looked up briefly, sighed softly when she saw her and returned to her magazine.

"This whole Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce is really weird, don't you think? It so sudden, even he didn't expect it."

Sakura blinked at her mother, and ignored Hanako for a moment. "They're divorcing?"

Midori's eyes widened comically. "You don't know?" She gasped.

Sakura shook her head and Midori launched into explanations. Sakura hardly listened to her, and she hardly cared about their divorce, but she wanted her mother to feel more comfortable, and she knew she felt comfortable when she gossiped about celebrities.

"Here, Sakura-sama. I made your favourite breakfast." Hanako murmured as she put a plate in front of Sakura. Sakura's face bloomed into a smile when she saw the freshly baked waffles with the side of strawberries, kiwi and wiped cream.

"You're golden, Hanako." Sakura said as she stabbed a few pieces of strawberries and kiwi and dipped them in the wiped cream.

Hanako smiled and poured her coffee, then disappeared back in the kitchen. Midori was still talking and Sakura ate while listening to her mother incessant babbling. It was strangely comfortable and familiar and Sakura was surprised when she found herself so relaxed and even smiling. Apparently she had missed her mother more than she thought she had.

Once they were finished with their breakfast, they headed for the garage. They took Midori's car, which was a new model of Chevy Corvette, and they drove off into the sunset. Or the morning. Whatever.

...

"Doesn't she look beautiful?" Midori exclaimed, looking at Sakura with such motherly love and admiration that even the pink-haired woman got kind of embarrassed. Not embarrassed enough to not voice her opinion though.

"Mom, I look like a girl-scout, or a good church girl." Sakura said, tucking on the flowy pale _pink _skirt of the dress. Not only it was pale pink, but it also had a heart-shaped cut at the back. Not kidding. It really had. So we have flowy skirt, pale pink, and heart-shaped cut. Yeah, not happening. "Mom, this belongs into the wardrobe of a fifteen year old virgin or Hinata!"

Midori frowned slightly and look at the young assistant buyer, who was desperately trying to hold back her laughter. "What do you think, Karin-san?"

Karin regained some semblance of control and straightened. "Although the dress is very pretty, I have to agree with Sakura-san. It's too pink and a bit too youthful for her." Midori nodded slowly. "We do have some new dresses that aren't displayed on the racks, I can show them to you, if you want."

"Oh, that would be wonderful! Thank you, dear." Midori said with a wide smile. Karin smiled and left.

"I'll go search for some more dresses. You put on the other one while I'm gone." And she disappeared.

Sakura sighed and reached for the zipper. She frowned when it zipped it down to half her back and arched her back slightly, trying to reach the zipper. "Motherfucker." She muttered and tried a few more times, only to fail. Suddenly, two cold hands took her zipper and brought it down quickly. She jumped and opened her mouth to scream but a pale handed slapped over her gaping mouth.

"I wouldn't, if I were you. It's going to give people the wrong impression." The male voice whispered in her ear, his cold breath fanning the side of her face. She shivered slightly and he stepped back. She whirled around angrily and for a moment, she thought he was Sasuke. She was ready to slug him when she noticed some noticeable differences. Like his much shorter, tamer and duller black hair, and his paler skin. And _definitely _his more form-fitting clothes.

"Who are you?" She asked after a beat of silence. She opted for being more polite for now.

The guy plastered a plastic smile on his face and spoke. "My name is Sai and I am a very close friend of yours."

Sakura blinked, a bit startled at his introduction. She soon realized who he was. So, this was the guy who was supposed to be helping her? She looked him up and down, her eyes falling on his plastic smile. Wow, trust Tsunade to sent her a weirdo. Sakura could just imagine her smirking and mouthing 'Payback is a bitch'.

"Well, friend, I'm pretty sure we're not that close, so get out of the changing stall, so I can, you know, change."

Sai nodded. His eyes flickered to her exposed back and the plastic smile was back on his face. "Nice ink." He said, then stepped back and pulled the curtain.

Sakura turned around and made a face in the mirror. Lovely. She turned slowly and glanced down at her lower back, where a small black kanji had been inked in her skin. It said 'heal'. She had another tattoo at the side of her ribcage, under her left breast but it was much more personal and she didn't like showing it to people.

Sakura sighed and took of the dress, grabbing the other one from the hook.

"Oh, Sakura, I found the perf-, why hello. You are aware this is the women's changing room, are you not?"

Sakura hurried with the dress, pulling it over her head hastily and nearly banging her head on the wall.

"I'm sorry, you must be Sakura's mother. My name is Sai - Sakura and I are very close friends." He was repeating it like a broken record, without any emotion in his voice. Was that freaky or what?

"Oh, _very close _friends you say? So handsome, if you don't mind me saying-"

"Mother!" Sakura cried out, bursting outside, not caring she hadn't zipped down her dress. They wouldn't be seeing anything new anyway.

Midori's head snapped toward Sakura and she shoot Sai an alarmed look when she saw Sakura's zipper was undone. She fairly ran over to Sakura, shoved the things she had picked up in Sakura's arms and zipped up her dress. "Try these, now." She said, shoving her back into the changing room.

"But you haven't seen that one yet." Sakura said, confused.

"It's very pretty." Midori said distractedly, and pulled back the curtain, blocking Sakura's vision.

She huffed. How rude. She started to unzip the dress - why had her mother zipped it up anyway? Annoying woman - when her mother spoke again.

"So, you and Sakura-"

"Mother!" She fairly glowered, pulling the curtain and fixing her mother with a glare.

"What, I was just going to ask your friend here a question!" Midori hurried to defend herself. Poor Sai looked clueless.

"Go find me a scarf or something." Sakura said, giving her a warning look.

"But-" Midori tried to protest but Sakura cut her off.

"Now, mom!" She snapped.

Midori's shoulder sagged in defeat and she left, not before shooting the two of them a contemplative and very worrying look. Sakura sighed in relief and leaned against the wall.

"That was very rude." Sai commented with a smile.

Sakura's eyebrows twitched. "Whatever." She would rather be rude then have her mother put this stranger through the ''potential boyfriend' procedure. She returned to her stall and just then Karin popped out, holding at least ten cloth hangers with various dresses hanging from them.

She grinned when she saw Sakura but her smile dropped when she saw Sai.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'll have to ask you to leave. This is the women's changing room." Karin's voice remained professional but her eyes were looking Sai up and down appreciatively.

"Of course." Sai bowed a little. He turned to Sakura and smiled. "I'll be waiting for you with your mother, Sakura."

Sakura nodded but quickly stopped, her eyes widening in horror. "My mother?" She whispered.

Karin looked at her curiously, and Sakura's could practically imagine the light bulb above her head as an idea came to her mind. "Karin, can you please distract my friend and make sure he doesn't go anywhere near my mother while I try this on?"

Karin hesitated. "I have other clients.."

"I'll buy at least half of these dresses." Sakura said. Karin's face cleared and she grinned.

"Deal." She handed Sakura the dresses and checked herself into a mirror. "You don't like him or anything, right?" She asked as she was about to leave.

_I don't know him!, _but out loud she just laughed loudly and waved a dismissive hand. "Definitely not. Go for it."

Karin grinned. "You are golden!"

Sakura smirked to herself, doing a little dance. "Yeah, yeah, I am. More people should realize this, I think."

...

But apparently Karin wasn't enough to distract Sai completely. As soon as he saw Sakura, he made a beeline for her, completely ditching Karin at mid hair-flip. Sakura could completely understand the ticked off expression on her face.

"Oh, your friend is coming! I thought he had left!" Midori said as she appeared next to Sakura, holding half-a-dozen scarves and two hats. Sakura rose her eyebrows. "Well, you told me to find you scarves." Midori said with a shrug. "Give me those." She said, referring to the dresses in Sakura's arms. "I'm going to pay, you and your friend wait here."

Sakura put the pile of dresses in Midori's arms and watched her leave. Sai quickly joined her side.

"You are quieter than I was told you'd be." Sai said, sounding curious.

Sakura smirked slowly. "Did officer Black Eye tell you that?" She asked, laughter in her voice.

Sai blinked, probably wondering who Officer Black Eye was. "Oh, you mean the Uchiha?" He said after a moment of thoughtful silence on his part. "Yes, he told me. Do you know what happened to his eye?"

Sakura flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled slowly. "Slow reflexes, Sai. They can kill a person." She chuckled slightly.

"Okay." Sai said slowly, making a note of it. "But I don't remember the Uchiha having slow reflexes."

Sakura grinned. "Maybe he was dazed by my beauty, who knows? But fact is a fact, Officer Uchiha Sasuke has a black eye because he couldn't dodge my keys." She cackled evilly. "Ah, there's Mom!" Midori was waving at them with some difficulty, since she was holding five Saks bags.

"Let me, Haruno-san." Sai said smoothly as they reached her. Midori's lips stretched into a pleased smile and she gave Sakura an approving look. Sakura looked up at the ceiling in despair. Why did her mother always think that all her male friends were her boyfriends? In this case, Sai wasn't even her friend, although she didn't know that.

"Let's go to Hermes. We can't have a complete outfit without an absolutely fabulous handbag!" Midori said sagely, nodding her head.

"A grossly over-priced handbag." Sakura muttered next to her. Midori shoot her a look and linked her arm with her.

"Cheer up, Sakura. I swear, you are the only daughter I know who doesn't enjoy it when parents buy her things."

"I'm glad for that." Sakura said with a grin. "After Hermes, we're going to Pinkberry. I'm craving some frozen yogurt."

Sai followed the two chattering women, and tried to make sense of what they were saying. After a few minutes of racking up his brain he decided to give up and write another thing in his little notebook called The Mystery of The Female Mind.

...

By the end of the day, Sakura not only wanted to go home, curl up in her bed, and ignore her mother for forever and ever, but she also wanted to strangle Sai. He had turned out to be quite the "specialist" in fashion. He had become the hugest pain in Sakura's ass after her mother. The two teamed up on her, and didn't let her choose her own clothing (although she managed to smuggle a few items. Success!) and Sai had thrown thinly veiled insults at her all day which her mother intercepted as constructive criticism. When she tried to push him through Kate Spade's window, her mother had jumped to his rescue, saying he was just trying to look out of her.

But Sakura knew better and once her mother was gone and Sai lost his protective shield, she was going to give him a piece of her mind. Then she was going to give Tsunade of piece of her mind, as well, to make clear just how displeased she was with her "partner".

"Sai, you are going to join us for dinner, right?" Midori asked, sounding eager.

"Mom.. Sai probably has other things to do, _right, _Sai?" She said, turning to give Sai a fake smile and a don't-you-dare look.

Sai shook his head, completely ignoring the warning bells in his head. "No, I'm free."

"Marvelous!" Midori clapped her hands together. "Just get those bags in the car. You have your own car, right?" Sai nodded. "Alright, you can drive behind us. Careful not to lose us though!"

_I hope he does_, Sakura thought vindictively, giving the black-haired man a dark glare. Oh, she was going to get him alone and when she did.. she would be ruthless.

After Sai had gotten all the shopping bags in the car, Midori and Sakura got inside. Sakura tried to trip him, but he had quicker reflexes then Sasuke and jumped before her foot collided with his feet.

"Nice try, ugly." He whispered. He leaned forward and narrowed his dark eyes slightly. "We have a meeting with Sasuke in two hours. Will this dinner be over by then?"

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know but we'll just get out of it." Her green eyes shone with wickedly, setting off the warning bells in Sai's head again. She smiled sweetly. "Come on, Sai, let's get going. We don't have much time." She closed the car's door and smirked malicious. She would teach him a lesson. No one messed with Sakura and got away with it. _No one. _

Sai whipped out a small notebook on his way to his car and flipped through the pages until he found the right one. _"When a woman is particularly aggressive toward you, than she's sexually attracted to you but doesn't know how to show it." _His brow furrowed and he looked over his shoulder at the red car. Did ugly like him? He couldn't be sure. He had to ask Kakashi-san and Jirayia-san. They'd have an answer.

Back in the car, Sakura was plotting Sai's painful demise.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: **Sorry for the short update, but I had to pack up. I won't be updating for the next couple of weeks because I'm going to London then Paris - yes, yes, yes! - so, this is for now. It's most likely a bit suck-ish, but I was kind of in a hurry to finish it. Still, I'd appreciate a review._

_The lyrics to the song belong to Aura Dione. Check out the song, it's awesome - It's called Friends. And it has a weird video; shoes as your best friends. Personally, I like it very much. I'd love to raid her closet._

_Well, enough from me. Enjoy:_

* * *

"Hello, Officer.. pirate?" Sakura's eyebrows shot to her hairline as she spotted Sasuke, sporting an eye-patch. She snorted. "This makes it all better!" She said through her laughter. "But, seriously, you look ridiculous. Take this thing off and be a man. Live with it." Sakura plopped down on the ground and grinned at Sasuke who glared at her.

They were in one of the police safe-houses which happened to be in the middle of the forest. Sakura never really liked forests and felt chills up her spine every time a branch hit the window, but she refrained from commenting. Any sign of weakness in front of those two could be fatal.

Sasuke's own eyebrows rose when she saw the mud stains on her jeans and Sai's split lip. "Do you I want to know what happened?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Both Sai and Sakura shook their heads, refusing to look at each other. Sasuke's mouth twitched into a smirk, but he didn't comment.

"So, why are we here?" Sakura asked curiously, looking up at him. She crossed her legs Indian-style and wrapped a strand of long pink hair around her finger. Sasuke's eye narrowed a little and he sighed.

"Tsunade is sending me. She wants to know when the house will be empty. As in, when would your parents go out-of-town?"

Sakura shrugged. "How should I know? I've been home for only a day, they didn't greet me with "Oh, and by the way, we're going to Crystal Springs next week. Thought you should know." She sighed. "So tell Officer Fake-Knockers that I don't have anything, oh and can you tell her to change this one-" She jerked her head toward Sai. "before I throw him off a cliff and defect?"

Sasuke couldn't keep the satisfied smirk from appearing on his face. "So you two are getting along, huh? I knew you would."

Sakura's eyes narrowed slightly and she examined him quietly. Her eyes widened and she scowled. "Did you have anything to do with is? Because if you had, you wouldn't be the one-eyed pirate for long. You'll be the blind pirate."

The one-eyed pirate ignored her completely but she caught the triumphant glint in his eye and was already planing her revenge. "Well, if this is all. I'll be going." He pushed himself from the wall and walked out the door.

Sakura stood up, dusted herself off and ran after him. Sai sighed and followed. Sasuke was half-way to his car when suddenly, something jumped on his back. He had a feeling who it was and couldn't help but growl in frustration. "Honestly, Haruno, were you raised by wolves?" He let her hang on him, but she surprised him by wrapping her arms around his waist. She grinned and hefted herself further up his back.

"Nope, by vampires." She opened her mouth and leaned closer to his neck, breathing heavily.

The back of Sasuke's neck burned and he was sure that it was red, embarrassingly enough.

"But the cool ones, the ones from True blood, not the ones from Twilight. The ones from Twilight aren't even real vampires. I mean, sparkling? I get it, you want them to be the very personification of beauty and all that but _sparkling? _That's not beautiful, that's weird. And that Edward? A possessive bastard if I ever saw one and a sexist to boot. You are the woman, Bella, you're going to stand behind and look pretty while I fight at the front line and act all macho. Although, Bella isn't exactly the right example for an independent strong woman, but neither is Edward for a macho, because he sparkles. He fails at life, he really does. I wish the Volturi hadn't been so lenient with him. Just rip his head off and light him on fire, is that so hard? What's so amazing about him anyway? Yeah, he can read minds but Alice can see the future - that's much cooler, if you ask me. I don't get what's all the fuss about, you know? But I digress. I'm here to have my revenge!" Sakura cackled loudly and the sound jerked Sasuke back to reality. His brain had shut off almost immediately after the 'nope, by vampires' part.

"Haruno, just get off my back." Sasuke said with an annoyed sigh.

"Don't you want me to suck all your blood?" Sakura asked innocently.

Sasuke turned to look at her. "Come again?" He asked, blinking rapidly.

Sakura sighed. "Forget it. This is pathetic. I'll think of something else. This is not over, though." She jumped his back and fixed her hair. She grinned up at him and patted his cheek before he could move away. "Have nice dreams, Officer Black Eye!"

Sasuke scowled and jumped into his SUV.

"Aw, isn't he such a happy little boy?" Sakura cooed. Sai joined her side and watch Sasuke's car speed away.

"I don't know, ugly, he looked pretty eager to get away from you." Sakura punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He coughed and doubled over, clutching his stomach. For someone of her size, she sure could pack a mean punch.

"Hitting a police officer is against the law-" He gasped, looking at her with pained eyes. "Hitting in general is against the law. I can have you arrested."

Sakura snorted as she unlocked her door. "Please, be my guest." She flashed him a grin and got into her car. Sai watched her car disappear in the distance and groaned loudly.

Back in her car, Sakura smirked in satisfaction and turned on her stereo to the max.

...

"_Free, free to be myself, free to need some time, free to need some help - so I'm reaching baby out... when I'm only in the crowd.. when the silence gets too loud .. I'll be crashing on some couch.. and if I ever forget you baby, tonight I'm gonna let your memory baby go, always sad I know.. but at least I got my frieeeeeeeeeeeends-_" Sakura stopped abruptly when she whirled around and caught sight of a tall blonde woman. She blinked a couple of times to make sure it was exactly who she thought it was, and the woman grinned cheekily, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously._  
_

"Ino?" She gasped. She took off her earbuds and threw her Ipod on her bed.

Ino's grin widened and she skipped in her room. How she managed to skip in those heels would stay a mystery. "Hello, Forehead!" She exclaimed, pulling Sakura into a hug.

"What are you doing here? Weren't you studying in Suna?" She asked after they pulled away. She hadn't seen Ino in so long, even before she had the fall out with her father. Ino had left to study psychology in Suna, which was also one of the reasons she had for leaving. Ino had been her only friend back then, the only one she could stand and without her, she hadn't been able to handle everything.

"I graduated, silly!" Ino said with a chuckle. Ino was older than Sakura with two years, but that hadn't stopped them for being the best of friends. Ino sighed and looked around, a nostalgic smile on her face. "I arrived late at night yesterday and I decided to wait until the morning to come and see you. I missed this place. The room looks exactly the same." She turned to look at Sakura and her mouth twitched into a sly smirk. "So, you ran away, huh?"

"How do you know that?" Sakura asked, confused. "You said you just came back yesterday."

Ino snorted and sat down on the padded bench at the foot of Sakura's bed. "Please, Forehead, you know I'm like the queen gossip in this town - it doesn't matter that I haven't been around for years. But it was Hinata who told me."

"Right, Hinata." Sakura nodded and sat down next to her Ino. "So how was in Suna?"

"Boring, I was studying like crazy. _You _are the one with the interesting story. Come on, out with it." Ino settled comfortably and waited for Sakura to speak. She leaned back and brought her legs to her chest, hugging them tightly.

"Well, you know how the things were even before you left.. well, it soon got worse. It doesn't really matter now, because what I thought about him isn't true. Apparently." Sakura shrugged. "That's it really. Nothing interesting or juicy." _Except that he is a criminal of the highest caliber._

Ino stayed silent but there was something in her eyes, Sakura couldn't tell what it was exactly. "Well, how are you fairing now that you're back?" The blonde asked. "Did you hear about Hinata's engagement?"

Sakura's eyebrows rose. "Engagement? No. I've been back for a day."

Ino sighed. "Yeah, apparently it's some guy her family picked out for her. Of course. Honestly, I thought she'd grow out of her annoying need to please her family, but apparently not. I'll talk to her again, though, but she seems pretty set on this. She wants me to be her maid of honour."

"That's great." Sakura said, trying to inject some enthusiasm in her voice. Ino gave her a look and shook her head.

"I don't know if I can do it. I don't want to watch her throw her life away just to satisfy her father. I might accidentally do something stupid, like interrupting the wedding and giving Hiashi a piece of my mind. I doubt that this is what Hinata has in mind."

"Probably not." Sakura said, nodding in agreement. "But imagine his reaction. He'll get that face that makes you think he's having a seizure, then he'll probably order his bodyguards to throw you out, but his humiliation will stay with him."

Ino laughed. "You're right. Great man, Hiashi." She sighed and silence fell around them. The good thing with them was that their silence was never awkward and uncomfortable. Sakura felt as if Ino hadn't left at all, she was still her best friend, the gossipy but smart and grounded girl who she met back when she was six. "Let's go to our café_,_ I missed that place."

"Yeah, I haven't gone there since you left." Sakura murmured, remembering how much they used to go to the french café on fifth avenue. It used to be their own place. "Let me just go and change and we'll go."

"Alright, but don't take too long." Ino called after her when she disappeared in her walk-in-closet. Sakura frowned at the shopping bags thrown at the ground carelessly and then smiled sheepishly to herself. She'd have to tell Amaya to take of them. She fished through the bags, searching for the ones she had picked out for herself.

She dressed in a blue/white stripe dress, a cropped denim jacket, short white combat boots and completed it all with a Louis Vuitton travel handbag. She let her crazy wavy hair down, put on some make-up and returned in her bedroom.

"Let's go."

Ino threw the ancient issue of _CosmoGirl _she was reading on the bench and stood up, smoothing down her dress. "Finally. I'm starving. And you really need to update your library." She said, gesturing to the small bookcase that stored only magazines. Sakura rolled her eyes. She hardly called _that _a library. "You are aware that_ CosmoGirl_ is no more right?"

"Yes, pork, I'm not completely clueless. Now let's get going." She pushed Ino slightly and the blonde stumbled. She shoot Sakura a glare and grabbed her handbag, swinging it over her shoulder.

"Gentle as ever." She muttered as they reached the door.

Sakura rolled her eyes and opened the door, and came face to face with Amaya, who was holding a phone handset. "Good morning, Sakura-sama, Ino-san. There is a young man named Sai waiting to be let in. What should I tell Manzo?"

Sakura groaned and cursed. Ino rose her eyebrows curiously, Ayama flushed slightly at her language and Sakura continued to spew curses. "Goddamn that guy. Is me trying to throw him off a cliff not enough to keep him away? Ugh, just.. let him in. I'll deal with him."

Amaya nodded quickly and hurried off, speaking rapidly in the handset.

Ino turned to look at Sakura, eyebrows raised. "Nothing interesting you say?"

"Believe me, there is nothing interesting about that guy." Sakura said with venom in her voice. "Come on, you'll see for yourself."

* * *

_Don't leave without a review. Think about it, you'll make one girl smile with a few words. That's a good deed If I ever saw one. _


End file.
